Java: The Cockroach of Programming Languages (It Just Won’t Die!)
What’s the Deal with Java?
Java has been around since the dinosaurs (okay, since 1995, but still). Every few years, someone says, "Java is dead!" and yet, here it is, still running half the internet, your banking app, and probably your grandma’s toaster.
Why Won’t Java Die?
- Platform Independence – Write once, run anywhere (but debug everywhere). - Enterprise Love – Banks, governments, and big corporations are addicted to it. - Backwards Compatibility – Java developers fear change, and Oracle respects that.
Where is Java Actually Used? (Everywhere, Unfortunately)
Enterprise Software (a.k.a. The Land of Legacy Code)
- Java powers ancient banking systems held together with duct tape. - Spring Boot keeps enterprise developers employed (and slightly frustrated).
Android Apps (Yes, It’s Still a Thing)
- Despite Kotlin’s rise, Java refuses to leave Android development. - Legacy apps written in Java will outlive us all.
Big Data & Cloud (Because Java is Too Big to Fail)
- Apache Hadoop, Spark, and other big data beasts still rely on Java. - Java runs in the cloud... very slowly compared to Go and Rust.
How Does Java Work? (Slowly and Steadily)
1. Write your code in Java (brace yourself for verbosity). 2. Compile it into bytecode that the JVM magically executes. 3. JVM eats all your RAM but somehow keeps running. 4. Java's garbage collector saves the day (eventually).
Why Should You Care?
If you want job security, Java is your best friend. It’s not cool, it’s not hip, but it pays the bills. Java developers may age, but Java itself? It’s immortal.
Now go write some boilerplate code and enjoy your NullPointerException. Happy coding!